Big Brother William
by Artdirector123
Summary: A One-shot AU idea based on the 2003 universe. What if Hohenheim hadn't abandoned the homunculus he created? What if he took it with him when he left Dante? And what would he think of his younger siblings? A small day-in-the-life-of story for this idea.


Heavy breathing. The thing's haggard breath seemed to ricocheted off the walls of the room. Hohenheim backed away from it in shock and disgust at the contorted body lying in the center of the circle. His wife stood on the other side of it in equal shock but did not move. It's long blond hair was stained from its own blood leaking onto the floor. Its ribs were inverted and limbs were contorted. It looked upon him with an intense, piercing gaze, wild with pain and mouth open wide in a silent scream. The golden haired alchemist swallowed. This was horrifying! The transmutation had gone horribly wrong. This was not what he had wanted. This...this was not his son. It wasn't even human!

...But as he looked at it more something dawned on him. It was alive. It was a living breathing creature. And he was the one that had made it. It was his responsibility. He couldn't just leave it on the floor and wait for it to die. He couldn't just leave it to suffer. He furrowed his brow. There had to be something he could do...

The man began moving toward it slowly before reaching down to lift it up and carry it. It sickened him to touch the distorted form, especially as it turned its head towards him as if wondering what he was doing, but he couldn't leave it on the floor.

His wife looked upon him in confusion. "Hohenheim, what are you doing?" She questioned, "Get rid of that thing! The experiment failed. We have to get back to work on the stone!"

"Not yet..." he said as he set the body down on a bench and pulled a canvas sheet over it, "We can't just get rid of this thing. It's clearly alive and we were the ones who brought it to life." He turned towards her. "We've come so close...There must be something more we can do..." he said.

...

*THUMP*

William awoke coughing as he felt something heavy land on his chest and knock the wind out of him. He groaned and his eyes opened groggily to look down at the unwelcome object that had assaulted him. When his did, the annoyance in his eyes faded slightly as he saw he three year old little brother staring up at him with gleaming eyes. "Will'm!"he chirped.

"Hey squirt, what are you doing up?" He questioned, "And how did you get out of your crib?"

"I got him out," Edward said proudly as he climbed onto the bed.

"Oh really?" William responded, "I'm surprised you could even reach it!"

The little four year old pouted before smacking his older brother's shoulder to which said older brother simply chuckled. "I'm plenty big enough!"he protested, "And I'm gonna get bigger when I get older! I'll be so big I'll be able to hold things over your head!"

William only smirked. "Sure you will..." he said rolling his eyes and making the little boy more frustrated, "So what was the reason you busted your brother out of his crib and decided to wake me up at six in the morning?"

"We're gonna make brecky-fist!" Alphonse announced.

"Dad told us yesterday that today is Mommy's birthday," Edward explained, "So we're gonna make her food and you're gonna help."

William raised an eyebrow as he shifted into a sitting position. "You mean I'm going to do everything while you guys get covered in flour because I'm certainly not letting you near the stove," he said.

"Stop that! We'll help! You'll see!" Edward insisted, Alphonse nodding behind him, "Come on Will..."

"Fine..." he grumbled, scooping up alphonse and shooing Edward off the bed. Alphonse gripped his eldest brother's shoulder as he held him, smiling away with glee. The homunculus followed after his younger brother as Edward marched to the the kitchen with determination. As he did so, he contemplate the dream he had. Today was Trisha's birthday, but he couldn't stop thinking of his own "birthday" of sorts. Although he kept the name of the former life he resembled and held the memories of, he did not consider that human's birthday his own. Instead for him it was the day his father had created him. It had been four hundred years, but he could still remember that day as clearly as yesterday. It had been excruciatingly painful and so had the days and weeks following as Hohenheim worked on a way to ease his suffering and stabilize his body. So much had happened since that day. The had left dante soon after his body became more human like. They spent centuries wandering, trying to make sure that woman couldn't find them. For the longest time William had believed it would just be the two of them for the rest of eternity. Sure, every once in a while a human would become prominent in their lives for a while but that usually barely lasted a few years. He didn't mind that at all. He'd even say he liked not staying anywhere for too long or becoming attached to someone or somewhere. It kept things simple for them.

But now here they were, all settled down. One day this Trisha woman had just caught his father's eye and now they had spent over seven years living with this woman as if they were married. Hell, his father had even decided to have two kids with her! And strangest of all...William really liked it. He had avoided really getting involved with any human but he really liked this Trisha woman. She was kind, sweet, and not at all bothered by William even after she found out his origins. If anything, she treated him even kinder afterwards. From the faded memories he still had from the previous William, he could definitely she was a better mother than his had been. And now that he had his little brothers in his life, he couldn't even imagine going back to the wander's lifestyle he and his father had before, no matter how big of pests the little guys could be at times.

When they made it to the kitchen, he sat Alphonse down on the table. "Alright," he said, "What were you two planning on making?"

"Pancakes!" Alphonse exclaimed, "Lots n lots of pancakes!"

"Yeah! With blueberries and chocolate chips," Edward added as he pulled a recipe book out of the cupboard. He then ran over to the table and climbed up a chair to set it on the table. He flipped it open to a page that had the big bold words "buttermilk pancakes" on it.

"Alright then, lets get cracking," William said, "Lets get the ingredients." Edward hopped down and and ran back to the cupboard.

...

"Ok first thing we need is three cups of flour..." William read aloud, "Where are those measuring cups..." He moved over to the cabinet to look for them and no sooner had he found one then did he hear his brother shout, "Got it!"

William turned to see his little brother scooping flour out of the sack. He crooked an eyebrow in confusion before turning back to the cabinet with the glass measuring cups he was standing in front of. Where the hell did he get one? They were all here right? He then quickly realized the boy was using his father's mug to scoop out of the flour sack.

"Ed, stop!" he said, grabbing the boy's hand as hew as about to pour it in.

"What?" He questioned, frowning in confusion, "It said three cups!"

"Not that kind of cups," William explained, "This kind." He showed him the glass measuring tool. "This is a measuring cup. See the numbers on the handles? Those show you how much you're putting in," he explained.

"Those aren't cups!" Ed exclaimed, They look like tiny pots! Why are they called cups? And then why didn't the recipe say for these kind of cups?"

William blinked at his brother's ridiculous argument until it fully dawned on him that Edward and Alphonse have probably never helped make anything in the kitchen yet. He sighed and ran a hand down his face. This was going to be a long morning. "Because people know you only use these kinds of cups in cooking," he explained. The brothers seemed to nod in understanding before Edward went to use the one labled 1 cup and began scooping it out.

"Is this right?" he asked, hovering it over the bowl. William examined it before brushing some of the excess off the top and nodding in approval. At least they were catching on quickly. Ed then proceeded to toss it in the bowl.

"Wait do-" William started, but unfortunately it was already too late. With a great puff, the flour was flung up into the two boys and homunculus's faces. There was a second of pause before the burning sensation of getting flour in his eyes fully struck William and he let out a cough. As if on cue, Alphonse began crying from the flour that got in his own eyes. Whelp. There went the surprise breakfast.

"Al!" Ed cried moving to try and wipe the flour off of his face, "No! Don't cry! It's ok!" But the little boy would not be soothed.

"Alphonse, stop," William hissed as he felt for the dish towel by the sink, "Trisha's gonna come running down here if you don't!" The boy continued to hiccup and sniffle as he whimpered. Damn it. He had a feeling this was going to be a bad idea. If Trisha came down here and found Alphonse like this, he was probably going to be the one to get blamed (not that he would get anything much worse than a scolding though but still). Once he had gotten the wet wash cloth he ran back to the table where the two boys were. As he made his way over, still half blind from the flour, he ended up bumping into a chair and falling to the ground. Meanwhile the wet towel went flying onto Edward's head.

"Ak! Hey!"the four year old cried. Thankfully his three year old little brother was distracted by this and stopped his crying to let out a short giggle. As william crawled back up rubbing his head, he huffed and gave an annoyed look to Edward.

"From now on, You measure, I pour, ok?"

...

After that, things went much smoother. They got through the rest of the dry ingredients with ease and only lost a few eggs in cracking two for the recipe. What came next did not work out so easily.

"Edward give that back!" William shouted, "We need it for the recipe!"

"No!" the struggling boy said keeping the bottle away from his older brother, "You can't put it in! It's disgusting and will ruin the whole thing!" Edward tried to squirm free of his elder brother's grip.

"HOW? IT IS LITERALLY IN THE RECIPE!" William cried in agitation, "See, right there! A pint and a half of milk!"

"Edwad, pwease give him the milk!" Alphonse said.

"But it tastes like vomit! There's no way we can put something like that in there," Edward protested.

"And you think flour tastes like candy? Trust me! It will be fine, just hand it over!"he insisted as he attempted to pry the bottle from the little boy's hands, "You're not even eating these! Jeez!" Edward paused but didn't give up his struggle. "If you don't let go of it now, I'll make you drink it yourself!"

The tiny boy finally relinquished the bottle at that.

...

Once everything was mixed, the funnest part of all was next: flipping them. The two boys weren't allowed anywhere near the stove, but they certainly enjoyed watching him flip them. The two boys cheered as he made each one go higher and higher than the last and have them land safely in the pan.

"Higher! Higher!" Alphonse cheered.

"How'd you get so good at this?" Edward questioned.

"Years and years of practice," William said. It was true. He had literal centuries of cooking experience under his belt.

"Can you show us how?" Edward asked.

"Pwease?"Alphonse added.

"Maybe when you're older," he said, "Not like I could teach you right now anyways. It takes expert timing and patience. You gotta know just when to flick your wrist with just the right about of-"

SPLAT CRASH

The three slowly turned to see the pancake had gone haywire and knocked a potted plant off of the cabinets and onto the floor. The three stared at the plant's remains for half a minute before exchanging looks, mouths agape. Then, Edward and William quickly moved to grab a trash bag and hide the evidence. They then carried it outside and hid it in the back yard. The two then quietly came back in to a bewildered Alphonse.

There was an awkward pause before William spoke up. "No one is to speak a word of this to anyone, got it?" he said, "If anyone asks, we pretend to know nothing." Both Elric brothers nodded in agreement.

...

When they were finally finished, they ended up with a stack of almost twenty pancakes. William scratched his head while he stared at the stack while the boys marveled at it. The eldest brother gave a worried look at the gigantic stack, as if mentally calculating all the disasters that could happen with the monstrous amount of pancakes. He was not expecting the recipe to make this many.

"This is gonna be awesome!" Edward exclaimed, "She's gonna love it."

"If we can get it over there..." William muttered, "I don't think she needs this many pancakes...I don't even think all three of us could eat this many... How about we set some aside for dad and us-"

"But we made them for her!" Edward responded, "Its a gift! We can't take back a gift that we gave away to someone!" William sighed in exasperation at this.

"But..." Alphonse interjected, "I wan some pancakes..." He glanced up at the stack longingly. Edward frowned at his little brother, but a few seconds later, his stomach growled and he looked back at the fluffy pancakes. He hadn't eaten all morning and they looked so good, even if they were made of milk.

"Ok how about this," William said, "How about we bring the stack and she decides how much she wants of it, and then we can have the rest."

The two boys thought about it before nodding in agreement. Now all they had to do was get it over there. William carefully carried the giant stack down the hall to his father's and Trisha's room. Edward carried the silverware and butter, leading the way and making sure nothing happened to the precious cargo. Alphonse tottered behind them, carrying a spare plate and a bottle of syrup.

"You're good..." Edward said, motioning him forward, "We're almost there..." William thought about mentioning that he didn't need him to say how close they were as he could see around the pancakes but decided against it.

As they reached the door, ready to wake her up, little did they know that the occupants behind it were wide awake. Hohenheim glanced at the clock while Trisha leafed through her book. "Are you sure the boys are really planning on making you breakfast?"he asked, "It's almost nine after all."

"I told you I saw them working down stairs and overheard them talking," she said closing her book, "Just be a little patient. And make sure to act surprised when they get here sweetie." After she heard Alphonse suddenly start to cry from downstairs, she had snuck down to see what was going on, only to find William helping the boys make breakfast.

Hohenheim huffed and laughed as he sunk into the bed a bit. "Are you sure they weren't just causing trouble in the kitchen?"he asked. As the heard a knock on the door, Trisha set aside her book and did the same.

"Does that sound like trouble to you?"she asked him.

"Definetly," the old man responded. Trisha chuckled at this as the door swung open.

"SURPRISE!" The two youngest boys shouted as they burst into the room. Alphonse and Edward scurried into the room and up to the bed while William trailed behind, carefully carrying the precious pancake cargo. "Happy Birthday Mom!" They cheered.

"Oh thank you boys! Tha-" she responded before she fully noticed the load William was having to bear. "Oh dear!"she exclaimed, "That's quite a lot of pancakes!" She tried to continue to smile and hide her bewilderment.

"Yeah! They're for you!" Edward said happily. Alphonse crawled up onto the bed and presented the plate to his mother.

"Oh! Thank you alphonse..." she said before patting his head gently.

"William? Are you alright?" Hohenheim asked. The homunculus peeked out from behind the stack and nodded, flashing a smile. The weight of the hotcakes was nothing to him as he had superior strength compared to most humans. The issue was keeping it balanced which was quickly resolved as he set the tray down on the bedside table.

As it sat next to Trisha, she noticed that it almost reached eye level to her. "My my..." she said, slightly intimidated by the large stack, "Is that really all for me?"

"Yup!" Alphonse chirped.

"Well, you don't have to eat all of it by any means," William said, "Decide what you want and I'll take the rest down stairs."

"Or I suppose I could take the rest..." Hohenheim said playfully as he reached over to the stack. Trisha swatted playfully at him at his words.

"Nooooo!" Alphonse whined, "Mama gets to choose first!"

Hohenheim raised his hands in defeat. "Fair enough then," he relented.

"Thank you boys," their mother said as she was served five piping hot pancakes, "You three are wonderful." She hugged both Edward and Alphonse before planting a kiss on their foreheads. Alphonse giggled and tucked his chin in his neck while edward smiled in response. She then turned to the homunculus. "You too! Get over here now!" She said becoming him forward.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Oh? Are Trisha kisses required for everyone involved now?" He asked teasingly.

"They are enforced, now come here," she confirmed with a nod. He rolled his eyes before walking over to her and bent over, allowing her to hug him and kiss him on the forehead. He smirked as she did this but deep down, he thoroughly enjoyed her hugs. They were warm and welcoming, which was very fitting of her.

The rest of the day passed by uneventfully. There was a bit more celebration for the young mother, but aside from that, everyone relaxed. William could feel his eyes drooping as he sat on the couch and watched Edward and Alphonse play on the living room floor. Edward was trying to teach his little brother how to read one of his story books. William had to admit that Edward was very smart for his age, what with starting to learn how to read short sentences only a few days before he turned three. Still there was no way he could be left alone in the kitchen. He smiled as he watched them, little Alphonse's eye focused on the page (though probably more on the pictures than the words) while his brother pointed to each word and spoke it out aloud.

"I remember when you were doing that for him," a voice said. William turned to see the birthday girl herself leaning on the back of the couch.

"Well, you did a lot of it," the blond young man said with a shrug, "But Yeah...seems like only yesterday I was sitting in Ed's place and he was in Al's."

"And now look at this morning," she said with an amused hum, "He was helping you out in the kitchen." "Thanks again for the lovely breakfast," she replied.

"It was Ed's idea," he said simply, "And I couldn't just let him do it himself."

"I see...well, I still appreciate the effort you put in," she said before getting up to leave. He nodded and snuggled into the couch cushion, closing his eyes. "William? Can I ask one last thing of you today?" She said, stopping to turn to him. He opened up one eye to look at her in acknowledgment. "Can you go down to the market and buy something to replace the plant you broke?" She said with a knowing smile, "I know it was you since there's know way the boys could get up there."

William winced and mentally cursed before responding. "Can I do it tomorrow?" He asked. She nodded in response. "Alright. I'll do it first thing then," with that he gave a yawn and settled into the couch for a well deserved nap.

...

Envy awoke on the velvet sheets of the bed in his master's little underground castle. He blinked slowly before groaning as he sat up, running a hand through his long green hair. He frowned and grumbled as he slowly blinked the sleep out of his eyes. He had woken up in a terrible mood. He didn't know why but he thought it had something to do with the dream he had been having. He could barely remember it though. It all just felt like a fuzzy haze but he distinctly remembered the pipsqueak and his father being there...and possibly sloth.

His mouth twisted into an ugly scowl as he felt himself boil with anger. Why the hell would he dream about those worms?! How dare they hold prominence in his dreams...At the same time he felt a pang of something else in his chest. What was that? It almost felt...sadness or slight emptiness.

Envy snarled before punching a hole in the wall. No. He wasn't going to let that man or any other human get inside his head. He didn't need any of them. Not even dante. He'd slaughter them all one by one if he had to until he could finally forget what he was...starting with that man and the pipsqueak he replaced him with.

 **Hope you guys enjoyed this short story. I really wish more people did things with this AU idea. I've only seen one other fic that plays with it. Oh well. I have another one I'm planning on posting for this little AU, but it will be a seperate One-Shot. Anyways, have a nice day you guys.**


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